#8 Sunday: Post 1

Last week, my sister challenged me to participate in the Weekend Writing Warrior’s “#8 Sunday” exercise. The idea of this challenge is to post an 8-sentence excerpt of your writing on your blog, something I’m not always comfortable with when it comes to fiction. But, in the spirit of trying out new forms of writing, my first #8 Sunday snippet is taken from a fantasy fiction novel that I’m starting to develop, definitely not my forte!

Shaking her head in resignation, Melle left the tent without a word; when she returned a few moments later, she held a cream belt in her hands. Hearing the flap open, Gwayn looked up from her seat on the cot to where her sister stood in the entrance. Melle brushed her short, dark hair out of her deep blue eyes and sighed as she met Gwayn’s light green ones. Thrusting the belt and scabbard at her younger sister, Melle looked away first, her jaw set in a stubborn line.

“Take it,” she said as Gwayn hesitated to reach for the worn belt, “I’ve no use for it anyway.”

Gwayn stood slowly and took the engraved leather in her hands; slinging the belt around her slim waist, she buckled the sword into place, testing the weight of it on her body. Drawing the sword from its scabbard, Gwayn hefted the light blade in her hand and gave a few practice swings; Melle watched her sister’s fluid movement, and the way Gwayn’s blonde hair rippled in the light as she moved. Too focused on her form to notice, Gwayn didn’t see Melle frown slightly, nor did she see her sister’s face pinch in pain before she turned and strode out of the tent without looking back.

To check out the other writers`work, or to find out more about signing up for the #8 challenge, check out www.wewriwa.com. Happy writing, and happy reading!

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Categories: Writing

15 replies

  1. Welcome to the group! I like the reluctance and jealousy between the sister.

    One recommendation: take the time to set the scene. As a reader, it felt like every time you mentioned the belt, it was different: cream, then belt and scabbard, then worn, then engraved leather, then with a sword, too. It forced me to revise my mental picture every other sentence which is jarring.

    The belt sounds wonderful and significant, so I think it’s worth pausing the narrative to show it to me clearly.

    Just my two cents! As I said, I think the dynamics between the siblings are great and I’m fond of symbolic objects.

    • Thanks for the input! I definitely struggled to get it all in in 8 sentences, but I guess it is really true, you do have to be willing to kill your darlings to put together some decent writing. I’ll rework this bit! Thanks again 🙂

      • Yes. In this case, I think it’s not as much as killing your darlings as it is about rearranging how they’re lined up. lol. But I agree with you. I feel like writing is the easy part. Editing is where we start judging ourselves and finding our flaws. It’s much harder, but the payoff is worth it.

    • I guess I should have provided some back story! My bad 🙂 Melle and Gwayn have been separated for many years, and unknown to Gwayn, Melle was married. Melle’s wife was captured (presumed dead), and it was Melle’s fault (this is the reason for her hard character). The belt/sword, of course, belonged to Melle’s wife.

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